


nothing ever really dies, right?

by lazyfish



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F, Grieving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22640968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyfish/pseuds/lazyfish
Summary: Coulson is in Tahiti, and Daisy is in mourning.
Relationships: Agent Piper/Skye | Daisy Johnson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 27
Collections: Ladies of Marvel Bingo 2019





	nothing ever really dies, right?

Her father was in Tahiti.

Her father was dying.

These things Daisy knew, but they still felt strange - she couldn’t quite divorce _father_ from Cal, as much as she tried. He had swept into her life and swept out of it just as quickly. Cal had hurt her, and Cal had saved her.

Coulson had started with saving her, and ended with hurting her.

She knew it wasn’t fair - he hadn’t chosen to die.

Except he had. It felt like he had, at least. There was a choice, for him to stay with her, and he _hadn’t_ and he was _dying_ and -

Daisy muffled a sob in her fist.

Piper rolled over, a sleepy sound escaping from her mouth. Her arm flung itself over Daisy’s waist, the weight of it comforting. 

She had waited for Piper to fall asleep to start crying. Which probably made her a coward, but Daisy was fine with that. Her thing with Piper was still new, and Daisy didn’t want to crush it with the weight of her baggage. 

Piper’s body in the bed next to her was a welcome distraction, though. Piper was cool - literally cool, seeing as her hands were always _freezing_ \- and even if this was new, it felt right. Daisy needed more things that felt right in her life. She turned so she was facing Piper, wiggling closer until their foreheads were pressed together. Tears were still dripping down her cheeks but they didn’t feel so hopeless.

Just sharing space with Piper made her feel better, calmer. It had been a long time since she’d found someone who grounded her. Daisy knew the vibrations of everything around her, felt them thrumming in her veins, _knew_ that nothing was really as solid as it seemed, but… Piper wasn’t like that. Piper was solid, and she cared.

And she would probably be pissed if she knew Daisy was crying, and more specifically, that Daisy had waited for Piper to fall asleep to cry.

Daisy let out a soft breath. It was a shame to wake her up, especially after everything they’d been through the past few months. They both needed rest.

When morning came, they could talk.

\---

“Are you okay?”

Daisy couldn’t help but flinch at the question. Too many people had asked her too many times and not cared about the answer for her to be able to take the question seriously. The people she loved knew other ways to ask if she was okay without saying the words. May didn’t even ask at all anymore - just figured out what Daisy needed, and did it.

But Piper was learning, and Daisy wasn’t going to hold that against her.

“I don’t think so,” she whispered. She wasn’t used to being this open about her problems - it was easier, sometimes, just to hide them away and hope someone else cared enough to find them. But if she was honest, Daisy didn’t have time for that anymore. She didn’t have time for saying anything less than what she was feeling, because the people she loved were so, so fragile. They could be ripped away from her at any moment.

Like Trip. Like Lincoln. Like Coulson. 

Piper sat down next to her at the kitchen table, pressing their shoulders together. It was funny, Daisy thought, how sometimes just sharing a space with someone could make her feel better. Sharing a bed with Piper had helped. Sharing a seat with Piper helped, even if Daisy couldn’t articulate why. It was just easier to breathe now.

“I’m sorry.”

Daisy leaned further into Piper, swallowing back tears. “You don’t have to be.” It wasn’t Piper’s fault things had ended this way.

“But I am. I’m sorry you can’t catch a break, and I’m sorry I’m not the best at this whole comfort thing.”

“No one’s good at it,” Daisy whispered. The more she grieved, the more she was convinced people weren’t ever good at helping others through it. She knew _she_ wasn’t good at helping others grieve. The feelings were just too big and too scary for her to do anything with.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to be better.” Piper slid her fingers through Daisy’s, squeezing her hand lightly. “And I want you to know I’m here to listen if you ever want to talk. Even though I probably won’t say anything back.”

“I don’t need you to say anything back.” There was very little Daisy needed in the first place, but even if she was better at needing things, she didn’t think she’d need Piper’s words. Saying goodbye was more about feelings than thoughts in the first place, and adding in the mess in her brain to the mess in her heart? Entirely unappealing.

“Okay.” Piper sighed, then squeezed Daisy’s hand again. “Breakfast?”

“Breakfast,” Daisy agreed, standing when Piper did. “We can make it together?”

Piper cocked her head to the side. Daisy wasn’t normally the cooking type, so her girlfriend’s confusion was understandable, but Piper didn’t say anything. “Together, then.”

\---

It was a week before Daisy was ready to talk beyond just naming what she was feeling.

“Do you think he’s thinking about me?” Daisy asked Piper one day as they sat on the couch together.

Piper thought before she answered, which Daisy appreciated. She didn’t want anyone lying to her just because they thought it was what she wanted to hear.

“I can’t think of anyone else he would be thinking about, since Agent May’s already with him.”

“You’re going to have to stop calling her Agent May one of these days.” It was weird to have her girlfriend call her mom _Agent_.

“You’re going to have to stop deflecting,” Piper answered lightly.

“I just don’t like thinking about it for too long.” Daisy shrugged. “The waiting’s the worst part, you know?”

Piper nodded slowly. “You know your life is about to change permanently, but you don’t know when.”

“Right.” Daisy looked up at the ceiling, letting out a soft sigh. At least Piper understood that part, even if she didn’t understand the rest.

“Even when he’s gone, he’ll still be here though, right?” Piper asked.

Daisy turned just enough so she could see Piper out of the corner of her eye. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” Piper suddenly looked uncertain. “You’ve heard that thing about how we never really die until everyone forgets us, right?” Daisy hadn’t heard that, but she gestured for Piper to go on nonetheless. “I figure, Coulson changed the world majorly. And all the change he made isn’t ever going to die. So even when he’s gone…”

Daisy flung herself into Piper’s lap, surprised by how quickly she had gone from fine to a blubbering mess. Poor Piper just patted her awkwardly, obviously unsure of what she had done wrong. But it wasn’t a _bad_ crying, exactly - just release. Being Coulson’s daughter, being his legacy, everything he had left in the world… it was a heavy, heavy burden. And Piper had just helped her let it go.

After her tears had subsided, Daisy half-crawled, half-rolled off Piper’s lap.

“Thank you,” she whispered tearily.

“Uh… you’re welcome?”

But Piper smiled, and Daisy knew she didn’t need an explanation. Sometimes, words just got in the way. Piper didn’t know what Daisy was thinking, or what she was feeling, but she was _there_ , and that was enough.


End file.
